If you think you can succeed at work without getting political, you need to wake up. Politicking happens whether you like it or not, so you might as well learn the right buttons to push to influence others more effectively.
You will also, however, find posts by parentsmostly mothers, who confess that they play with their children because they feel guilted into it and that, truth be told, they hate playing with them.
The problem of children dominating parents in play. But they go too far with this idea. The problem is, the way that children want to play is often not the way that parents want to play.
For one thing, children love to do the same damn thing over and over and over again. For example, one mom described how her daughter, in make-belief play, demanded that she, the mother, say only the exact lines that the daughter chose for her, and only at the precise time that the daughter told her she could say them.
The daughter got mad whenever the mom varied her line or said it at not quite the right moment. The daughter could be creative, but the mother could not.
For the mother, then, this was not play. The mother was allowing herself to be a human prop, not a playmate.
No wonder she hated it. But in other contexts, and especially in play, we mistakenly think our task is to allow our children to boss us. But bossing in either direction destroys play and ultimately destroys relationships.
No self-respecting child playmate would tolerate being bossed around in such a way. The ability to express displeasure, to rebel, to quit, is what makes play such a powerful vehicle for social learning for more on that, see here.
We may, in fact, be turning them into spoiled brats. The problem of parents dominating children in play The opposite mistake, of course, is for us to dominate children in play, or, at the extreme, to take over the play and leave the children out entirely.
I remember, years ago, when my son was little, we joined a group called Indian Guides, which was supposed to provide bonding opportunities for fathers and their young sons. I was quite proud of the little car my 8-year-old built, and he seemed to have fun building it. It did seem to be genuine constructive play for him.
But when we showed up at the derby, car in hand, both of us were crestfallen. All of the other cars were perfectly crafted, beautifully painted and polished. I was astounded by the craftsmanship of all the other fathers.
Maybe the event provided, to some degree, a learning opportunity for the children as they watched their fathers, but it most definitely was not play for them.
At any rate, my son and I both felt the strong desire to shrivel up, crawl home, and toss our car—a car that looked like it was built by an 8-year-old—into the trash.
The sad reason why parents today feel it is their duty to play with children Play should never ever be a duty; it should always be for fun.
In other cultures, and in ours until recent decades, children always had other children around to play with. The adults in such cultures might play, but they would play in their own chosen ways. When adults played with children, it was never out of a sense of duty; it was only for fun.
All this appears to be especially true of hunter-gatherer cultures, according to anthropological reports. It was also generally true of the communities in the United States in which I grew up, in the s.Deliberate practice, and how Team Pros get good Stephen Bartley | @StephenBartley | December 27, AM In PokerStars news It's the holiday period, the perfect time to reflect on the year that just passed, and the one about to begin.
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